You Can't Coach That

Thursday, February 21, 2008

I may be months behind the times with this but couldn’t resist having a dig at Microsoft.

Excel 2007, apart from introducing a whole new user interface, likes to mess with our minds. From the Microsoft support website:

When you perform a calculation in Excel 2007, the following behavior occurs:
• The result of the calculation is a number from 65534.99999999995 to 65535. The calculation is performed correctly. However, the result is incorrectly shown as 100000.
• The result of the calculation is a number from 65535.99999999995 to 65536. The calculation is performed correctly. However, the result is incorrectly shown as 100001.

Who cares if the calculation is correct if it doesn’t display correctly?

They have now issued a patch but oh dear!  Interestingly, there is no such problems with the latest Mac version.

I wish my salary was $65,535 and that my employer used Excel 2007 to calculate payroll.

“You can’t coach that”

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Heard in the back seat of the car on the way home from swimming lessons:

6 year old #1 - “This is a photo of one of our new puppies. He’s the one with only one testicle”

6 year old #2 - “So that’s the one with only one testicle. He’s so cute”

A few minutes passes where other topics are discussed before the following is heard:

6 year old #2 - “What’s a testicle?”

6 year old #1 - “I don’t know”

6 year old #2 - “Is it a boy dog or a girl dog?”

6 year old #1 - “I don’t know that either”

“You can’t coach that”

Saturday, February 09, 2008

Australia is currently hosting the Indian and Sri Lankan cricket teams during a summer that has seen it’s fair share of controversy. One Sri Lankan player who seems to be always ready to complain about how poorly we Australians treat him is Muttiah Muralidaran, the current world record holder for the most dismissals in test match cricket. True to form, Muralidaran (Murali) has recently claimed to be the target of an egg throwing attack. According to the cricket players and establishment of the sub-continent countries (India, Sri Lanka, Pakistan), Australia is a racist country and I am sure this latest incident to befall the great “Murali” will only reinforce this notion. After all, our local crowds yell abuse at the opposition team and a small minority do yell racially based comments. This of course doesn’t happen anywhere else in the world - yer right!

So someone throws an egg at a group of Sri Lankan cricketers. The shrapnel wounds from the flying egg shell were I am sure devastating. The Sri Lankans must be eager to return home where it is only bombs and bullets that you have to be worried about.

Oh shit, I think I have just been racist - sorry Murali.

“You can’t coach that”