You are the first one I talk to in the morning and the first to provide comfort after a hard day at work. Once your Italian temperament was tamed you fitted into the daily coaching schedule with ease.
It has been difficult of late to watch as you struggle to breath and strive to maintain your high standards of performance.
But time moves on and nothing is forever. I just can’t rely on you in pressure situations anymore. You will be missed but not forgotten.
Here are some light hearted thoughts to follow my last rather depressing post. They were sent to me under the heading of “stupid questions” but I think they are actually worth wondering about. Hum along if you have heard them before.
Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?
Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a use by date?
Why do toasters always have a setting on them which no-one ever uses because it burns your toast to a horrible black crisp no one would eat?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say “I think i’ll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out”?
What do people in China call their good plates?
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?
Why is it that when someone tells you that there’s billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there’s wet paint somewhere you have to touch it to see if they are telling the truth?
Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?
I try clear out my spam email about once a week. Some of the names I read make me laugh. If I was the sort of person who needed an alias (other than Coach McGee) I would definitely use some of these. How about:
Rafe Grizzle
Kvdivernon Dinwiddie
Ecollet Watertown
Next time I order a meal at the pub I’ll use one of these. “Mr Grizzle your steak is ready” or “Mr Dinwiddie your table is ready”
Haven’t we all imagined what it would be like to have super powers. Who didn’t as a kid imagine what it would be like to fly like Superman (I wanted to say Space Ghost, see video below, but that would really date me), have super human strength like the Hulk or do whatever Batman and Robin do. I remember often thinking “if I could have just one super power, what would I chose” - alright I still sometimes think about it.
Until recently I thought that my ultimate super power would be invisibility. The idea of being able to take a time out from the world by becoming invisible has some odd appeal.
All that has now changed. One of the few things I watch on TV these days is Heroes. There are some super powers in that show that I had never even considered. Being radioactive for one but you can keep that one. Controlling technology with your mind is my new favourite. More specifically, there was a character about half way through season one you could interact with the internet with her mind. This might not be the best super power from a dominating the world perspective but imagine being able to send an email by just thinking about it. Chatting on line could be done commuting to work and blogging would take on a whole new dimension. Imagine being able to “see” any web page just by thinking about it.
Of course I can see some downside. Knowing my luck with all things technical I would get a corrupt brain driver.
I’m currently up to my ears in exam marking and report card writing. There has been precious little time therefore for much else and all my creative energies have been spent on said report cards.
In order to release the pressure on my bull$h!t valve I thought I would write some of the things I can’t say in report cards. The names, genders and species have been changed to protect the defendant (me)
Mary is outgoing and cheerful - Mary would talk under wet cement
John appears to enjoy his IT lessons - John is a borderline deviant who spends his IT lessons working out ways to access porn sites
Susan is a quiet and reflective student - Susan is an EMO and hasn’t spoken to me or looked me in the eye all semester
Harry is a gifted IT student - Harry has mastered the art of circumventing the school firewall so he can access porn sites
Jennifer always has something to offer in class discussions - Jennifer thinks she knows everything and has the right to tell the world
John is well respected by his peers - John is popular because you, his parents, let him and his friends have wild parties
Bob is finding mathematics difficult - Bob is failing because he does no work and you will blame me for his poor performance
I was searching through some old emails and came across a list of quotes from Rugby players, coaches and commentators.
“Nobody in Rugby should be called a genius. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein.” - Jono Gibbs - Chiefs
“I’m going to graduate on time, no matter how long it takes.” - Rodney So’ialo - Hurricanes - on University
“You guys line up alphabetically by height.” and “You guys pair up in groups of three, then line up in a circle.” - Colin Cooper - Hurricanes head coach
Chris Masoe (Hurricanes) on whether he had visited the Pyramids during his visit to Egypt: “I can’t really remember the names of the clubs that we went to.”
“He’s a guy who gets up at six o’clock in the morning regardless of what time it is.” - Colin Cooper on Paul Tito
Kevin Senio (Auckland), on Night Rugby vs Day Games “It’s basically the same, just darker.”
David Nosafora (Auckland) talking about Troy Flavell “I told him, ‘Son, what is it with you. Is it ignorance or apathy?’ He said, ‘David, I don’t know and I don’t care.’
David Holwell (Hurricanes) when asked about the upcoming season: “I want to reach for 150 or 200 points this season, whichever comes first.”
“Andy Ellis - the 21 year old, who turned 22 a few weeks ago"(Murray Mexted)
“Colin has done a bit of mental arithmetic with a calculator.” (Ma Nonu)
“He scored that try after only 22 seconds - totally against the run of play.” (Murray Mexted)
“We actually got the winning try three minutes from the end but then they scored.” (Phil Waugh Warratah)
“I’ve never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.” (Jerry Collins)
“That kick was absolutely unique, except for the one before it which was identical.” (Tony Brown)
“I owe a lot to my parents, especially my mother and father.” (Tana Umaga)
“Sure there have been injuries and deaths in rugby - but none of them serious.” (Doc Mayhew)
“If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again."(Anton Oliver)
“I would not say he (Rico Gear) is the best left winger in the Super 14, but there are none better.” (Murray Mexted)
“I never comment on referees and I’m not going to break the habit of a lifetime for that prat.” (Ewan McKenzie)
Murray Deaker: “Have you ever thought of writing your autobiography?” Tana Umaga: “On what ?”
“Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw."(Murray Mexted)
“Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer."(Murray Mexted)
In what is expected to be the first case of its kind Italy is set to sue New Zealand for an undisclosed sum. The issue at the centre of this historic dispute is said to be the rights to the “Boot” design (refer to images below)
The Italian Minister for Cultural Identity was quoted yesterday as saying:
“We have been the Boot for as long as anyone can remember. Caesar himself registered the design. We will not let some young upstart of a Country steal a part of our heritage.”
New Zealand has countered with the claim that they are in fact an ankle boot as opposed to the knee-high design of the Italians.
The case is expected to be heard before Judge Michael Sauer next week.
The Blogosphere to Join United Nations [Royters, 7 June 2007]
In a move set to revolutionize international diplomacy, the world wide group of bloggers collectively known as The Blogosphere is set to be represented at the United Nations. The move is seen as giving a voice to potentially millions of the world’s brightest minds.
It is yet to be confirmed however who will provide the actual physical representation at the UN. Unconfirmed sources suggest that the blogger with the bestTechnorati rank will be selected but there is believed to be strong support for other measures to be taken into account. Google page rank and Alexa statistics are two favoured by many.
There has been however opposition to the radical proposal. China is reported to be particularly concerned and is thought to be working on a ”UN firewall” to combat what it sees as an undesirable escalation of self expression. Other critics believe that this represents the next phase of plans by Google to take over the world. There appears to be no truth to the rumour that the UN headquarters are to be moved to Redmond. Similarly talk of “Digg” style voting on UN resolutions cannot be taken seriously.
Several “A-List” bloggers are reportedly working on “Making Money Online with the UN” blogs.
Did you know there is a global movement called “Nerdcore Hip Hop”. I didn’t either until I saw The Winnie Coopers profiled in my local newspaper. There debut album includes “Geek Manifesto” and I think they wrote it for me. Here’ their work as grabbed from youtube.
I regularly watch “The Lab With Leo” on the How To Channel. He has just done a segment on a new site called MyToons. It’s a you tube for animations. I would generally rather watch a good animation than some of the rubbish served up these days in the name of entertainment so I was excited to find this excellent site. Here is an example of the work that you can see there. Go on watch it and tell me that you have never felt like this guy.
Who is the Coach? - Self styled life coach to the masses; part time ballet critic; full time sports critic; nude twister umpire; unemployed still life model; "trust me, I'm on the internet"
A more serious look at who I am can be found on the About page.
