You Can't Coach That

A letter to the finance minister

Dear Madam Finance Minister (a.k.a. my beautiful wife)

Further to our recent discussion regarding the purchase of a new personal computer, I would like to make my final arguments. These are set out below.

1. I am aware that we already have 6 computers in the house and only four occupants (and one dog). You however have dozens of shoes and only two feet.
2. While a new computer will allow me to engage in additional hours of gaming at the expense of talking to you and the children, I will be more prepared for the eventuality of Australia being invaded by murderous aliens and will therefore be able to protect my loving family (as long as I can find a gun that uses a mouse to aim and shoot)
3. Yes, it really is important that Word documents load two tenths of a second faster and that spreadsheets calculate a fraction of second faster.
4. Yes, when I told you that there has been an upgrade to the internet and it only works on dual core processors now, I was lying.
5. No, computers are not just porn machines, I really do use mine for work

And my final argument:

I really, really, really want one.

Your ever loving husband

Coach

I’m with you on this one.  Another good reason is to figure out how old your current computers are and then talk about the fact that the ones you have are outdated.  I use this one alot!  The begging works too. Good luck with the finance minister