Tuesday, March 20, 2007
Conspiracy Theorists Association Application
To whom it may concern
As discussed yesterday via the hidden microphone behind the mirror in my bathroom, I am interested in joining The Conspiracy Theorists Association of Australia.
I have been interested in your organisation for quite some time and believe I have all the qualities necessary to make a valuable contribution. I cannot tell you what those qualities are because there are three people looking over my shoulder as I write this and they are sure to report their findings. You can however contact the Federal Police who I am sure will be able to supply you with all the hidden video you need to assess my application.
References are available from xxxxxxx and xxxxxxxx (this section of my application has been censored to protect the innocent)
I have taken the precaution of writing this application in biodegradable ink that will disappear within two hours to safeguard against the interception of my mail that has been ongoing for some time.
I look forward to your acceptance of my application and communication of this should be via the microwave link which was implanted in my head when I was in kindergarten.
Should I not hear from you I will assume that the organisation has been taken over by an unfriendly foreign power and I will instead continue my career in Federal politics.
Yours faithfully
Coach (or is it?)
