You Can't Coach That

Saturday, May 05, 2007

My Dear Inspiron 8200

I know that we have been fighting a lot lately but I am determined that things will change. Yes I swear and threaten to send you to computer heaven when you are slow to execute my frantic and often ill considered commands. We have been through much together over the years. There was that time you got a virus and I was up all night looking after you, nursing you back to health. Not to mention that nasty worm infestation that we don’t talk about when company comes to visit. If anything these trials and tribulations have strengthened the bond between us.

Now that you have a nice new install of your favourite operating system your manners have improved considerably as has my temper. I promise not to burden you with too much worthless junk masquerading as useful software if you promise not to freeze for no apparent reason more than once per day. I will diligently defrag your hard drive and clean your registry on a regular basis.

I honestly didn’t mean it when I said you were for the scrap heap. I can see our time together continuing for the foreseeable future. In the unlikely event that a new computer does come to visit I promise to turn you into a lovely Ubuntu machine.

Yours lovingly

Coach

“You can’t coach that”